Shaving: A battle of the sexes
‘Does this shirt make me look gay?’ I ask, swinging my shoulders about uncomfortably in front of the full-length mirror.
‘No,’ she replies without looking up from her magazine. ‘The thing that’s making you look gay, is you wondering so much what you look like.’
It’s a fair point, but I’m not going to admit defeat so easily. And judging by the tone of her voice this is an invitation to flirt argue.
She starts translating an article in her magazine out loud. It’s an interview with a famous Thai make-up artist who also happens to be a katoey (ladyboy).
Suddenly she asks, ‘If you had to choose whether you were born a man or a woman, what would you choose?’
It was the kind of inane question my friends and I used to throw at each other back in school when the conversation would deteriorate into ridiculous gun-to-the-head scenarios such as, if you had to have sex with your mum or your dad, who would it be? (Sorry. My only excuse is that I went to an all-boys school).
‘Women have it so much harder,’ she answers for me. I’m obviously taking too long to respond. ‘Thai guys can just do whatever they want and get away with it, but Thai women… We’re judged by what men expect us to be.’
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m all for equality, but feminism to me is all a bit last century. When I was at university in England even the girls didn’t want to study it. I remember the poor English Literature lecturer in charge of the course was forced to pack up her Virginia Woolf novels and try to sound passionate about Beowulf instead.
‘If you think women have it bad, you should try shaving,’ I say, trying to make light of the conversation.
‘What! That’s nothing. What about giving birth to a child, huh? I’d like to see you try that!’
‘Me too,’ I think secretly.
‘Well, if I had to choose between nine months of carrying a baby and a few hours of squeezing it out, or a lifetime of having to take a sharpened blade to my face every day, I know what it would be.’
‘Oh my god, they’re completely different!’ she cries, jumping at the chance to pretend she’s angry at me. ‘And anyway, women have to shave as well.’
‘Some more than others.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘Nothing! But even women don’t like shaving you know. Lots of times I’ll be taking the escalator somewhere in Bangkok and the girl standing in front of me will have hairy legs.’
‘Oh, so that’s how you spend your free time is it?’
‘No!’ I say, laughing. ‘I just sometimes notice these things without really looking.’
‘Well that’s rubbish because most Thai women don’t even have hairs on their legs.’
She turns back to her magazine, pretending to have lost interest in the conversation. Then suddenly she stands up to rearrange the lower half of her dress.
‘You’re about to go to the bathroom, aren’t you?’ I say with a childish smirk.
‘Oh shut up. You’re such a dick!’
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February 1st, 2008 at 7:41 pm
Well written
Btw.. are you Gurus new ‘token white boy’? Similar writing style 
February 5th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
‘it’s not like you have a dick.’, you say.
she then cries about the truth of your sentence.
OH BURN.
February 6th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
@ Lillian
nope, I might be a white boy but not that one.
@TzG
a bit harsh!